


as a certain blue enters your soul

by oikawakkun



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Developing Relationship, M/M, Miya Atsumu-centric, Unrequited Love, no beta we just die, the atsukage agenda is back on track
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-13
Updated: 2020-10-13
Packaged: 2021-03-08 03:00:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,307
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26988652
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oikawakkun/pseuds/oikawakkun
Summary: Miya Atsumu doesn't see the color blue.Not until he meets Kageyama Tobio.or that one soulmate au where you can't see any color related to your soulmates eye color until you make eye contact with them.
Relationships: Kageyama Tobio & Miya Atsumu, Kageyama Tobio/Miya Atsumu, One Sided Kita Shinsuke/Miya Astumu
Comments: 29
Kudos: 410





	as a certain blue enters your soul

**Author's Note:**

> so i finally decided to turn my [atsukage twitter au](https://twitter.com/oikawakkun/status/1286013234491928578?s=20) into an actual fic, enjoy!

**_“I never get tired of the blue sky.”_ **

**_— Vincent Van Gogh_ **

* * *

When Atsumu was all but five years old, he never really understood why certain things and objects would appear different to him than the rest. He couldn't quite describe why it looked different, just that it felt _wrong_. 

Like now for instance, as he and Osamu were playing outside after breakfast.

When he looked up at the morning sky, Atsumu can clearly see the white of the clouds passing by and the bright yellow of the sun's rays as it hits the red flowers growing in his mother's garden.

But the sky itself appeared dull and colorless to Atsumu's eyes, reminding him too much of the brand new coloring book they got from the store the other day, the pages looked so empty before he and Osamu started filling the different shapes with their crayons.

And the morning sky looked exactly like that, confusing Atsumu as he began to take notice of other areas and objects all around them appearing the same way. A few flowers in their front lawn and the bucket near the garden hose looked the exact same way.

Atsumu tried asking his brother if he saw the same thing but Osamu was too busy trying to catch a dragonfly to answer his question.

The thought bothered him enough that he finally goes to his Ma to ask her for an answer.

She only gave him a small smile when he asked her that afternoon, too busy to look at him for long as she continued to washed the dishes, happily humming along to a song playing on their kitchen radio which Atsumu doesn't recognize. The word _soulmate_ was her only answer later on after Atsumu refused to leave her side until she gave him one. She says he's still too young to understand but promises to tell him more about it when he gets older.

Of course her short answer only made Atsumu even more curious and frustrated. He ended up sulking about it for the rest of the afternoon, ignoring Osamu's glares and name calling in favor of whining to their mother about how it's unfair that Osamu can see the color of the sky while he couldn't.

The only thing that managed to cheer him up was the promise of tuna and onigiri for dinner.

* * *

It takes Atsumu a few years to finally understand what the word soulmate meant.

Their school finally gave a brief introduction about it during the start of the school year and Atsumu, for the first time in his life, didn't fall asleep half way through the lecture. Atsumu also learned to stop asking his Ma about the topic a few days later, the image of her sullen expression when he finally asked her about soulmates and their dad was something he never wanted to see on her face ever again.

That moment would haunt him for the rest of his life. It was a memory Atsumu knows he'll never forget.

And he never does.

He never wanted to see her look that broken again. He also stopped asking her about their dad after that.

* * *

Atsumu's all but fourteen years old when he finally decided to start looking for his soulmate seriously. He shouts this declaration as soon as he wakes up with all the confidence a fourteen year old boy could muster at 5:00 am.

He avoids the pillow tossed straight for his head easily and sticks his tongue out to Osamu as he continues to ignore his twin brother's shouts and threats at being woken up _'too damn'_ early, dashing out of their shared room to head to the kitchen for breakfast.

Atsumu is ready to start the day with nothing but sheer determination and a positive mindset that he'll get whatever he wants if he puts his mind to it. He's already thinking about what it would feel like to finally look at a mikasa volleyball and see the color blue filling the spaces in between the yellow.

The thought makes him giddy with excitement, and he was smiling the entire time he walked to school, confident that things would definitely go his way.

* * *

Apparently, things won't always go his way after all. Atsumu finds this out eight hours later, after their last class ended and he is still nowhere near finding out who his soulmate is.

Osamu is already threatening to head home without him but Atsumu makes no move to follow his brother no matter how much Osamu's glaring at him, too busy sulking to hear his brother's annoyed sigh. He does hear Osamu's short "I'm leaving" followed by the door closing shut five seconds later as Osamu's footsteps slowly faded out in the distance.

Atsumu pretends the loneliness doesn't bother him, pretends that there isn't a gaping hole in his heart that's threatening to spill every time he looks up at the sky and sees nothing but gray. He turns his head away from the open window bitterly, mentally cursing the universe for the lack of blue in his life.

It takes him a few more minutes before he finally pulls himself out of his seat and out of the classroom to head home as well.

Not once did he look up to watch the sky as it changed colors.

* * *

Atsumu is now fifteen years old and very much in love with a senpai with amber colored eyes, much like his own.

His name is Kita Shinsuke and he is everything Atsumu has been dreaming about. _Everything he could actually have,_ Atsumu tells himself.

The little voice inside Atsumu's head reminding him about soulmates and the color blue goes unheard as he takes the box full of equipment from the smaller boy's hands and follows him to the storage room with a smile on his face.

Loving Kita was easy.

He makes it too easy for Atsumu sometimes. It's in the way he works hard and in the way he looks out for Atsumu like no one else ever does. It's in the way he silently cares for him and how he watches over Atsumu and the rest of Inarizaki, like he was born to to play the part. 

Kita Shinsuke was many things; he's blunt, straight faced, and he never gets nervous during a match, _ever._ But most of all, his hold on Atsumu's heart grows tighter each and every day. Atsumu hasn't felt anything his close to drowning while feeling like he's on the top of the world whenever Kita would call his name.

He lets his mind focus on the glow of amber in Kita's eyes, in the way he manages to make Atsumu forget about any other color whenever the sun would illuminate his eyes every afternoon.

When he gave Atsumu a bag full of food from the convenience store Atsumu knows is at least a few blocks away from their campus, with a note that told him to have a proper meal and sleep for his cold in the same penmanship he's learned to love, Atsumu made sure to take his advise to heart.

He still has the small note with him, glued right at the very back of one of his notebook and when Osamu saw it accidentally, Atsumu never heard the end of it from his brother's constant teasing.

* * *

So at sixteen years old, and with his heart still whole, Atsumu sets off to find Kita after practice. He finally poured everything he's been feeling for the smaller boy in a messy confession one Thursday afternoon.

The wind was cool on his skin that day and the sun was beginning to set, but Atsumu paid the sky no mind. He avoids looking at the colorless flowers a few distance away from them and the erratic beating of his heart as he watches Kita's eyes widen for a fraction from his sudden admission.

It's also at sixteen years old when Atsumu got his heart broken.

"I've already found my soulmate." Five words was all it took for Kita to rip Atsumu's heart from his chest and crush it to the ground. Kita made it sound so easy, like Atsumu hadn't been trying his hardest for the past years to find his own.

_But this isn't about soulmates,_ Atsumu wanted to tell him. This is about how his heart was breaking from his chest and how Atsumu's unable to stop it no matter how much he wanted to. This isn't about a love that was destined by the world since their birth, but from the way Kita was looking at him ** _—_** looking at the same fucking shade of brown, Atsumu knew he never stood a chance when it came to things like fate. 

"I'm sorry, but I can't return your feelings." Kita said, just as blunt as ever, but never unkind.

He gives Atsumu a pat on the shoulder and heads inside the court first, leaving Atsumu alone to pick up the pieces.

Atsumu didn't have the heart to feel anything after that.

* * *

It takes him months, but Atsumu slowly learns to get over his first heartbreak one step at a time.

He no longer has the heart to fall for anyone like how he did with Kita, he's learned how awful that feeling was firsthand and would never let himself go down that same painful road ever again.

Despite his resolve, he still looks for the color blue in other people's eyes. But he still avoids looking up at the sky as much as he can.

* * *

Atsumu is seventeen years old when he gets invited to the All-Japan youth intensive training camp for the second time.

He's just as excited to participate as he was the first time he got the invitation. He tried not to show it too much when he was packing that night, knowing Osamu was still a bit disappointment when he didn't get the invite, no matter how nonchalant his twin tried to appear.

Atsumu was prepared to meet the same faces he already knew, already imagining Sakusa's scowl and Hoshiumi's energy, but he's also anticipating all the new set of faces who'll be joining them tomorrow. Word has it that the new set of first years who'll be joining were pretty damn good.

_The King of the Court._ The title definitely sounded impressive, even for Atsumu. He tried asking his coach a few times what the Karasuno player was like, but none of the answers he got really gave Atsumu any idea what the Kageyama Tobio was like apart from how serious and intense he could be during a match.

The night before he leaves for the training camp, Atsumu dreamt of crows and a crown of gold, he woke up disoriented when the alarm on his phone rang for the second time right next to his ear.

* * *

Atsumu was also seventeen years old when he sees Kageyama Tobio set for the first time in his life, he was expecting a lot of things.

What he did not expect, however, was to see the younger boy mess up during their first practice. Atsumu ended up laughing a bit too loudly at that, which earned him a few surprised stare from his fellow teammates. Surprisingly, Kageyama managed to hear him all the way from the other side of the court.

Kageyama turns around slowly, obviously confused and a little bit annoyed by Atsumu's laughter. When he meets Kageyama's eyes, Atsumu feelt the air get knocked right out of his lungs.

_A deep, dark blue._

The kind that would go perfectly well with the whites of clouds on a bright sunny day and the kind of blue that he'd always imagined right next to the yellows of a mikasa volleyball. He could already picture the blue of the ocean and Atsumu takes a moment to just stare at him.

The color spreads from Kageyama's pupils like fresh paint, bleeding perfectly until the younger boy's eyes are filled with nothing but blue. Atsumu knows he is seeing the color for the first time, but it's just so cool and calm and refreshing, and so achingly beautiful and _familiar_. His mind is already reeling from the thought alone.

Kageyama looks equally shocked, if the frown on his face was anything to go by, probably assaulted by all the shades of brown inside the court. Atsumu couldn't help but imagine watching the sunset by the sea with him.

He sees Kageyama opening his mouth to say something, but the last thing Atsumu remembers is hearing him shout "Watch out!" before Atsumu felt the hard impact of a volleyball at the very back of his head. The pain was instantaneous and Atsumu felt the hard wooden floor when he passes out from the assault. 

* * *

When Atsumu wakes up, he's greeted by Kageyama's worried face, and Atsumu thinks that the blue of his eyes is just as distracting up close.

"Are you okay?" He asked, his voice is surprisingly deeper than what Atsumu thought. "I've never seen anyone pass out from a hit to the head before."

"Yeah," Atsumu started, too embarrassed to look at him for long after the mention of that humiliating experience, "Omi-kun sure knows how to hit 'em hard."

After a moment of silence, Atsumu lets his eyes slowly wander back the the boy right in front of him.

_His soulmate_ , Atsumu's mind reminds him. _His._

"Miya-san, can you see them too?” Kageyama sounded like he was asking him the secret of the universe when he whispered those six words to him, and for a moment, Atsumu almost believed he did.

"Yeah, I do." Atsumu choked on his answer, the blue of Kageyama's eyes were downing him, the endless blue was like a straight drop to the ocean.

And for a moment, Atsumu feels like he's on top of the world.

**Author's Note:**

> kudos and comments are always appreciated! and as always, feel free to come scream at me on twitter! (i go by the same user @oikawakkun)


End file.
